Come on ladies, you all know that with each birth we lose a little shred of our dignity – midwives prodding and poking, student nurses and doctors traipsing in and out and the whole time we are reclined there, legs akimbo with everything on show! So having done that twice I’d already lost a fair bit of dignity before The Whirlwind decided I didn’t actually NEED any and decided to take away whatever remained.
So far I’ve had my knickers flashed to all and sundry at more family gatherings than I can mention (I eventually got wise to this and only wear trousers now), the whole staff of the local supermarket (and it’s a Tesco Extra, so that’s a lot of staff!) have seen my entire collection of bras at one time or another, I’ve had private bodily functions broadcast at the top of his voice on crowded buses and I’m now extremely careful what I say about other people within his earshot as I can guarantee he’ll remember the one and only time I was less than complimentary about them and decide that they REALLY need to know about it! After all of that I honestly figured that NOTHING else could EVER embarrass me…..oh boy, was I wrong??
Tonight The Whirlwind’s tutor popped round to deliver a copy of his report for the LEA and being the kind-hearted, generous soul that I am I made him a coffee while I perused said report, next thing I know The Whirlwind has tsunamied into the room and yanked my top up to my chin …… I didn’t know what to say, the tutor didn’t know where to look and I felt one tiny, hidden, forgotten, last shred of dignity tear free and sadly wave goodbye as it trudged out of my life, never to be seen again…….I suppose I should at least be thankful it was a clean, well-fitting bra he was flashed with and not the sad, misshapen thing I put on when everything else is in the wash!
So, goodbye tiny shred of dignity, I will miss you!